Some ads, a blog; and the blatant misuse of a semicolon.
Thanks for grinding in the wave pool. You taught my son what love is and you gave me something to look at besides waves.
Although you’re both in your 40s and unattractive and flabby and toothless and heavily tattooed, I did get a kick out of watching the hunger and lust in all four of your [...]
I don’t love Tim Horton’s coffee. It taste oily and weak and rarely makes me feel like I’m awake. But there’s a Tim Horton’s on my way into work, and for the most part, the coffee does its job. In a barely caffeinated and oily kind of a way.
Now, I’m all one for free shit. [...]
My mom has a boyfriend. His name is Freddie. He owns a gun or seven. He makes me laugh, but rarely out loud. Sometimes he sends me emails that scare me. I get so frightened I shake – without the rattling or the rolling. I’ve copied and pasted one of Freddie’s gems, from a month [...]
My son Zachary likes to hold is pee. I tell him it’s silly but he does it anyway. I tell him it feels good to pee and when you pee it’s like ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and then you can go on with your day but he always answers back I don’t have to pee, dad.
Then I [...]
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The moral of this post? Blogging is so easy, even a 4 year-old can do it. ffbasfikasfbnsfksmfsfsfsffsks fsbfks (Oh sorry Zach, I meant a 4 and a half year-old.)
These ideas are so goddamn good, that I’m hoping, in the sneakiest way possible, that you will forget that I had absolutely nothing to do with any of them and you will tell all your friends how wonderful these are and how brilliantly creative I am, and then they’ll come on here and tell their [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
The closing ceremonies of the 2010 Olympic Winter Games are on TV. Canada had a great Olympics showing and have been medaled accordingly. If medaled is a word, of course. But if isn’t screw it. My prediction of the mens’ hockey team winning gold came through, as I suspected. That much I [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
So I’m falling, and for the first time in years, I could use a sweater. As I’m falling I’m not only getting colder, but younger. I guess this is what happens when you die – your life flashes before your eyes. But I’m not so sure I’m dying. For all I know, [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
Al and I ran toward the crack in the ice. No sign of Tonya Harding. She must’ve fell in or jumped in or clubbed her way in with a back metal pipe or something.
Tired of being in hell and tired of being hot and tired of listening to the 2058 Winter Olympics [...]