Some ads, a blog; and the blatant misuse of a semicolon.
Today, I put my Levi’s jeans to rest. It was a tough decision seeing that there was still life in them, although the two massive rips in the knees and the howya doing in the crotch would prove otherwise.
They were tough jeans, but they were fair jeans. Jeans that brought out some of my worst [...]
When your dog jumps excitedly on me and you say don’t worry he’s friendly don’t you mean to say that your dog stinks like wet dog and that he has dog breath and that he’s going to slobber his dog breath saliva all over me and then he’s going to place his dirty-ass paws on [...]
My son Zachary likes cheese. In fact, if he had a choice between eating cheese and going to the zoo, he would choose cheddar, gouda, edam, goat, havarti, mozzarella, parmesan, sliced, nacho, cream, string and whiz over the hippo and the elephant.
It’s not that Zachary is an animal activist, it’s just that he hates how zoos [...]
I almost hate you person that I don’t know. If you had ears, you might of heard me call you every name in every book because that’s how loud I screamed at you when you didn’t take my shovel from my porch, but seeing that you don’t exist, I find it hard to believe that [...]
My 4 year-old baked some chocolate treats with my wife today. That’s pretty scary considering none of them really cook. From what I could gather, they made macaroons. Their concoction contained chocolate and coconut and perhaps, little pieces of Hot Wheels cars.
When I got home from work, my son greeted me with his creation in [...]
Let’s be honest: McDonald’s is tasty. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t keep going back. The only problem with McDonald’s is how you feel afterwards. You feel like crap. And funny enough, you feel like taking a crap. For me, the bowell movements always start after my third bite of whatever the taste of the month [...]
Probably a whole whack of them. And I’m not talking whack like the kids say. Because that would be whack in itself. More like whack as in a whack of Bazooka bubble gum. That’s what I’m talking about. Because it seems that these days, there’s more often links to stories than stories themselves. And that makes about [...]
I’m not being pushy. Zoe is almost 11 months and almost fully walking. She walks, she falls, she walks, she falls, she walks, she oh wait she’s up, SHE’S UP!, she falls. And when she falls, she falls hard. Like Rocky Balboa hard. Smack on the mat, only the mat is the hard wood floor, [...]
In today’s Marketing Daily, there’s an article on how Mattel is launching a new line of black Barbie dolls – with fuller lips, wider noses, and more pronounced cheekbones. Odd, there was no mention of bigger booties. Perhaps that’d be too much. You know, crossing the line. Honestly though, I’m not too sure how [...]