Some ads, a blog; and the blatant misuse of a semicolon.
Catherine with a C came continuously ’cause Cam is the chief of cunnilingus.
“Cripes…Cam…cripes…cripes…cripes!!!”, Catherine with C called out, convincingly and cunningly.
“Crepes?”, countered Cam, confused. “Can’t cook!”
The moral of this post? Cripes and crepes cannot coexist.
Bob bounced the basketball.
Boing, the basketball bounced beneath Bob’s barenaked baggage of balls.
Bewildered, a belligerent Bob bellowed a Bee Gee-esque “bloody bitch!”.
Black and blue became Bob’s bounceless balls. Beefsteak big, bloated and battle scarred badly.
Bob began bouncing the basketball bountifully like a blind, bearded Baptist bastard.
“Bubble bath before bed, balls”, babbled Bob, bushed beyond belief.
The [...]
Adrian ate Alice’s apple.
“Asshole”, acclaimed Alice.
“Accept my apology?” asked Adrian apathetically.
After absorbing what arose, along with anger and animosity, an appalled Alice asked Adrian: “How about anal at my abode ASAP?”
“Awesome!” Adrian answered, about to asiago cheese his Armani tighty whities.
“As if”, answered Alice. “When Afghan aardvarks on acid amalgamate in Alabama.”
The moral of this [...]
Deer Bear,
I live in North Vancouver and you come on my street and I don’t like you and you freak me out. Why do you eat garbage? Is that why you poo in the woods? I know my papa always asks my mom if you poo in the woods and my mom shakes her head. [...]
Dear Hans,
I confess, I’m a knob. Every day, I call you. But I don’t talk to you. Oh no, God no. When I realize that I call you, I hang up on you. Not because I don’t want to talk to you, but seeing that I call you four times a day, we’d probably run [...]
I played the shit out of Moby’s Play. I was even gonna call up Moby personally to see if he could change the name of his album to Played. He may have changed it, if I had offered him enough money. I mean, this is the same Moby that sold out in every way possible [...]
Tee hee hee hee hee. Tee hee hee. Tee hee.
Tee hee hee hee hee. Tee hee. Hee. Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee.
Tee.
And hee.
And giggle giggle. Tee hee hee hee giggle hee hee hee hee.
The moral of this post? Forget laughing, this is what you [...]
I probably wrote the funniest email of my life the other day. It probably took a few minutes longer to write than my typical emails – seeing that this one was filled with gut busting insights and knock-em down zingers that were giggle worthy, to say the least.
What upsets me is the response. Now, I’d [...]
The 2010 Canucks team that takes to the ice in the upcoming NHL season will look a little different than in years passed. Here’s a few changes that Vancouverites can expect from their favourite team:
The whale logo will remain, although the colours are going to be a little more rainbowish – to appease Vancouver’s growing [...]