Some ads, a blog; and the blatant misuse of a semicolon.
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
So I’m falling, and for the first time in years, I could use a sweater. As I’m falling I’m not only getting colder, but younger. I guess this is what happens when you die – your life flashes before your eyes. But I’m not so sure I’m dying. For all I know, [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
Al and I ran toward the crack in the ice. No sign of Tonya Harding. She must’ve fell in or jumped in or clubbed her way in with a back metal pipe or something.
Tired of being in hell and tired of being hot and tired of listening to the 2058 Winter Olympics [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
The ‘84 Winter Olympics in Sarajevo are in full swing and although Canada is playing Sweden in hockey, I’m going to take a patriotic break from reality and, instead, I’m going to cheer and applaud parody – that’s right, I’m off to the Weird Al Yankovic concert.
No shit.
My friend Mark Smith and [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
The year 2058 seems to be a banner year for the Winter Olympics. From hell, we hear the cheerin’ and the jeerin’ of Icelandic fans, hootin’ and hollerin’ and not puttin’ any effort whatsoever at bein’ grammatically correct on how they’re talkin’.
Weird Al and I are less obsessed about the Olympics, as [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
I was watching the ‘84 Winter Olympics from Sarajevo. I was 14 and with my buddy Mark Smith. We were trying our best to be enthusiastic and patriotic but when you watch Finland play Norway and you’re 14, you’d rather go play with something that was made in Taiwan. So we went down [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
It was 1984. Dorothy Hamill had taken a break from the Ice Capades and enjoying a little Dorothy Hamill time. The 84 Winter Olympics from Sarajevo were on TV – and, of all things, figure skating was on. Hamill watched, and relived her Olympic glory from eight years earlier.
In the background, Dorothy [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
I wake up near the fornt door. The bump on my head is pretty high, putting me over the six foot mark. I see stars and birds but I don’t see any Tonyas or Hardings. What happened to her? Why did she hit me with that black pipe? Is this still 2002?
I [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
Al Yankovic was watching his parents’ black and white TV. The 1976 Winter Games were on and Dorothy Hamill was skating wonderfully. Al was 16, watching this, boner and all. His dad hated figure skating and made no attempt to hide his hatred by saying this is for queers before getting up from [...]
(Previously on Vancouver 2010.)
The ding dong of the doorbell woke me up. The TV was on and N Synch was playing live at the 2002 Winter Games in Salt Lake City. Apparently, I had a thing for N Synch. And figure skaters. Man, my head hurt and I couldn’t even blame it all on time [...]