Sebastien Wilcox

I was thinking of reading this book but I didn’t. I knew I wanted to write a review on it, but I couldn’t pump myself up enough to actually read it. I even tried playing an entrance song but that didn’t make much sense, if any sense at all. When I finally did get around to reading the book, I’d skip a chapter here, a few hundred pages there. I even went as far as pretending I had dyslexia, which gave me an excuse to put the book down every now and again, but mostly all the time.

I have don’t dyslexia.

This one day though, I somehow managed to read eight pages in a row and suddenly, my whole book review plan seemed to be back in order. But then a friend of mine dropped in unexpectedly and hit me over the head with a steel chair. 

Ouch I said, that hurt I said.

I want my belt back, my friend said. What belt I said? The belt you borrowed from me in high school to go to that Ratt concert he said. Shhhh I said, you don’t have to tell the whole world.

Then I put my hands over my face and, with a nice swift move, I took a hidden thumbtack from between my index and middle finger and went on to cut myself silly. Bloodied, I looked up at my friend and told him that I’m gonna shove his belt up his candy ass. Then we both did our best impersonation of two angry guys staring each other down for what seemed like ever.

And then the power went out.

The moral of this post? Who didn’t love Ratt?